i went to mexicali by myself. i stayed for about 2 hours. jon didn't show up and i just couldn't couldn't stand myself glimpsing over at the door every other second so i left before set break. an hour later i felt lonely and depressed. the phone rang...it was him, he was at mexicali, they were playing my favorite song and where was i. i figured that would happen...i left, he showed up. yeah he showed up but hours later.

he called again after he got home...long after i was asleep so i was pretty out of it when the phone rang. he wanted to have a serious conversation at 3:30 in the morning. i really was not in the mood to talk i was in the mood to dream and i hate the phone.

we talked and yelled and talked and he cried until 5 am.

alot was said. i told him how he has disappointed me with school and how i felt that he lied to me. i even brought up the sleeping thing. i know what i said hurt him but not everything is peaches and daphodils all the time.

the conversation ended by him saying that if i called him today then he would know that i still love him. but he didn't even give me the chance. he called a while ago and acted like nothing even happened. instead he invited me over later to watch sex and the city.

i am so confused.

written at 1:39 p.m.