dave comes home next friday and i am both anxious and scared to see him. i have no idea what our future holds for us but all i know is that i have to be strong and very careful of my feelings. i ordered an air mattress that should be here in the next few days. so i will finally have my own space and him his. i know he is going to come back a changed man. and now with the war in full force his is going to be more excited than ever to move to n.z. i guess i just have to deal with it.

the job i spoke about in my last entry did not pan out but i did finally get a real job. i was supposed to start a few days ago but with the storm i couldn't. so i start monday and i also had another job interview yesterday. i would rather that job but i'll take what i can get until i find out about that. i can't believe how broke i am. i think i ahve to skip my car payment this month in order to pay rent. i have never had to do that before. it is a bit unnerving. i feel myself falling into a bit of debt. i don't like this feeling at all.

shit time to go blow my nose again!

written at 9:20 a.m.